#1234
I'm kind of confoozled.
Date: 12/10/2001
From: Lita_the_Surly_Elf
.......................................................
PM left? Why? Did he take his henchmen with him? (I guess he didn't take Buffalo, since he had a line in Mickey's reply…) Does the idea of a werewolf wearing a Pharaoh hat sound cute to anybody else? I don't know. I'll just write this reply while pretending to know what I'm talking about, and see how it comes out. Everybody feel free to poin and laugh if I screw up the continuity… not that it isn't already screwed up. Darn that time-space continuum!!!
***
Lita: Ok, Mickey. So you have a plan to get Lita 42 out of jail?
Mickey: Yes!
Lita: And for some reason it's absolutely necessary that these people be involved? <Lita nods her head toward TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS and Ortega, while trying mostly unsuccessfully to keep the look of pure disgust off of her face.>
Mickey: Yes.
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Ortega is the bestest boyfriend ever! Look! He gave me flowers!
<She holds out a fistful of daisies, they all have pictures of Lita taped to them. Mickey shakes his head. Ortega leans out of the drivers side window puffs happily on his cigar, and gives everybody the thumbs up.>
Ortega: Errn errn!
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: You're right, Sweetie! I am the cutest girl in grade school!
Lita: Hey, Tork?
Tork: Grr?
Lita: I take back what I said before about you and Nastinka. This is much, much worse.
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: I can't wait until the rest of the 7 meet Ortega! They'll be so pleased! And I'll tell them it's all because of you, Mickey!
Mickey: Er… maybe you shouldn't…
Lita: <losing patience> Look, Mickey, you were going to get 42 out of jail, right? So get your hinder into that Big Misunderstood Sex Machine aka the armored car from the beginning of Diabolik that is no longer a time machine®, go get my clone, and bring her back here!
Mickey: Right. I'll just--
Lita: Move it, Mister! If I have to look at Ortega and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS for very much longer, I'm going to toss my cookies all over this bboard!
Mickey: Yeah, ok. I see what you mean. We wouldn't want that.
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Why not? I like cookies! Especially with milk! Mmm! Cookies!
<Mickey hurriedly gets into the armored car with Ortega and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS, and they drive away.>
Lita: Ok, everybody get back into Spidey. While all that business was going on with the robot, I was making arrangements to get us a new hideout. You guys didn't know that, because it was a secret, so I didn't mention it in the post.
Rimmer: But don't we need to wait here for Mickey and your clone to get back?
Lita: Oh! Darn! I forgot!
EM: Oh, just leave them. Mickey's annoying anyway.
Lita: No, we can't do that. Look at it this way, Evil Mike, if Mickey isn't around, who will you punch?
EM: Oh. Right. I guess we should wait then.
Lita: I don't think that's necessary. <She pulls out a pen and paper> I'll just write out some detailed directions to the new hideout, along with an easy to read map. When Mickey gets back, he'll be able to find the place easy.
<Lita writes up her instructions, folds up the piece of paper, and writes "TO MICKEY T. GARDENER. NOBODY ELSE CAN LOOK!!!!" in big letters on it. She puts it down on the ground, where it will be easy to find, and puts a rock on it to keep it from blowing away.>
Lita: There! No problem! Everybody into Spidey!
Buffalo: Cupcake II!
Lita: Oh. Damn. You're still here, aren't you?
Buffalo: Cupcake II, Ah know Ah treataid you baid. A-runnin off waith Cupcake III an leavin you ahll alone the way Ah did. Ah hope yeh cin see it en yer heart tah taike me back.
Lita: Sorry Buffalo. You broke my heart. And while you were gone, I found somebody else. Check this out.
<Lita grabs Evil Mike firmly by the shoulders, and gives him a great big sloppy kiss on the lips.>
Rimmer: Oh good. They're at it again. I was getting worried that there wasn't enough of Evil Mike and Lita kissing in this RP.
Tork: At least that's all they're doing. Roar.
gramps: I'll go git the water hose…
Lita: Pho phu phee-- <she pulls back, Evil Mike keeps kissing her though.> (ok, Evil Mike…) So you see, Buffalo, we can't be together. (That's *enough* Evil Mike!) Because I'm so completely enthralled with my current boyfriend, who is not you. (Evil Mike, will you get off?)
EM: Hey, you shouldn't put in the quarter if you don't want to ride the mechanical horsey.
Everybody: Huh?
Buffalo: Ah guess you thaink yew don need yer little ol' Buffalo, eh Cupcake II? Well, Ah know better. Ah know Ah can win you back.
Lita: No you can't. Ok, as I said before, everybody get into the giant spider. We need to go.
Buffalo: Oh! Good! Ah wanna see the new hahdeout!
Lita: You're not coming.
Buffalo: Awww… shucks.
Rimmer: No, wait! We can use him as a hostage! If PM wants him back, he'll have to submit to our unreasonable demands!
Lita: That's assuming that PM wants him back. That's a pretty wild assumption.
Rimmer: Quit bitching and let's get going.
<Rimmer, Buffalo, Tork, grandmapa, and Cave Rimmer all get into the back seat of Spidey. Lita and Evil Mike are up front. They start driving. Nothing like Driving Scenes for sucking all the life out of any story, don't you think?>
Rimmer: Lita, you never told us where we were headed.
Lita: Oh, yeah! Well, I got a great deal on Diabolik's old underground lair. He's not using it anymore, being all encased in gold and all. You'll love this place, it's great! It's like the Batcave, only cooler! And it shouldn't be too far from here.
Tork: Wasn't Diabolik's lair in Europe somewhere?
Lita: ...no...
Tork: Yes it--
Lita: Shut up! It's not in Europe, all right?
Tork: Fine. Have it your way.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
has no intention of driving to Europe
#1235
[Sam] Oh wow... what the hell happened?
Date: 12/10/2001
From: Sam_Casey
<<<Groovalicious Mode>>>
[After those crazy kids leave in their creepy spidermobile, I use the DNA Stabilizer to become visible again.]
[Sam] Hey! Those turkeys kidnapped Buffalo! I turn invisible for one second to keep from getting mangled by my employer who's turning into a werewolf, and *bam!* they shanghai my buddy! Okay, granted, he more or less went with them willingly, but man, it's still not cool! I'd better do something to save him! I *am* Ben Murphy, after all!
[I start walking in the direction that spooky spider car headed off, when I trip on a rock! And under the rock is a detailed map and set of directions that that Lita chick left to her new hideout! I wonder if that could give me a clue as to where they're going. Oh well, better take a picture of the plans just in case. Damn, I'm clever. Could anyone ever match my detective skills? I think not! After all, I *am* Ben Murphy.]
[Sam] Hey, Big Daddy! I think I found a lead on where to find those turkeys who kidnapped Buffalo! I--
[The boss-man turns around. Yipes! What a fright! This cat's turning into a wolf!]
[PM] Raaaraaarrrraaaarrrgh!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!!! RAR!
[Sam] Eeeeeeep!
[I am *so* outta here!]
Federal Agent Sam Casey
Peace, baby!
#1236
PM left because he had stuff to do.
Date: 12/10/2001
From: MickeysXmasCarol
Why is that so hard to believe?
************************************************************
Mickey: So, how is everything?
Ortega: Fine.
Mickey: And how're the gardens?
Ortega: Fine.
Mickey: How's Waldo?
Ortega: Dead.
Mickey: Oh yeah...
(Wow, this scene is pretty damn boring, huh? Let's check in with Lita and co. at Diabolik's hideout)
Lita: I need a drink...(gets a drink and puts it down on the table)
Diabolik: MMPH MMMPPHH MMMMPPH MMMMMMPPPHHH!
Lita: What?
Rimmer: I think he said use a coaster.
Lita: Oh...tell him to piss off.
Tork: I don't think he could get anywhere. Grrrr....
Evil Mike: Hey, anyone know where he keeps his money? There's something me and Lita have always wanted to try.
(While that's going on, Mickey is paying bail to get 42 out of jail. Mickey, 42, Ortega, and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS)
Mickey: Hey! You changed all my pre-sets on the radio!
Ortega: Well, sorry! TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS doesn't like anything cool.
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: It's cool to me. *sniff* The girls are always complaining about my music too.
Mickey: Anyone got gas money? I had to spend all the money I had on 42.
42: They gave me $5 to start a new life.
Mickey (takes it from 42): Yoink!
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
You mean we're *not* going to Europe? I bought all these adaptors for nothing!
#1237
o/` Dee dee daaaaa o/`
Date: 12/10/2001
From: Lita_the_Surly_Elf
Wardrobe change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Lita heads over to Diabolik's girlfriend's old dresser. (Wasn't her name Eva? I don't remember.) She picks out one of her groovy outfits from the movie and puts it on.>
Lita: There! That's better!
<She heads back out to the main room of Diabolik's lair, where the others are. Buffalo is tied to a chair in the corner. Tork and gramps are having a gay old time riding the rotating bed around in circles. Wait… I didn't phrase that right. They're just having good clean fun, all right? Anyway…>
EM: Hey, Lita! That's a *great* outfit.
Lita: Thanks!
Rimmer: *sarcastically* Oh, yeah. It doesn't even make you look a little bit like a slut.
Lita: *acidly* Oh, thank you! I suppose you would know, you an expert on sluttiness and all.
Rimmer: What was that supposed to mean?
Lita: What do you think it means?
<Uh-oh. Looks like a fight is unavoidable at this poin. Evil Mike knows he needs to do something, and fast! He puts his arms around both their shoulders.>
EM: Girls! Girls! There's no need to fight! As far as I'm concerned, you're *both* sluts! Now, why don't we three chase those kids off the bed, and put it to some good use?
<Ok. That was the wrong thing to say in so many ways. Rest assured, Lita and Rimmer are about to make sure he finds that out, but at least they aren't fighting with each other. I'm going to cut away from this scene here though, because I want to see what's going on with Mickey and 42 and everybody.>
***
<Mickey, Lita 42, Ortega, and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS finally get back to where they were supposed to meet Lita 9000 and the others, and they get out of the Big Misunderstood Sex Machine aka Blah Blah Blah.>
Mickey: Ok, Lita! I got your clone back, and heeeeyyyy….
Lita 42: The hell? They're not here!
Mickey: That figures.
Ortega: Errrn errn.
Lita 42: A note? Let me see!
Ortega: No. It's specifically for Mickey. Though it looks like somebody's already been messing with it…
Mickey: <takes the note> Gimme that.
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: <poins and hops up and down> Hey, look! A doggy! And he's wearing a funny hat! It's so cute when dogs wear hats! I'm gonna go pet him!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
I guess PM didn't go too far away...
#1238
Mickey: Sure. Ortega, go with her.
Date: 12/10/2001
From: MickeysXmasCarol
tee-hee..................
Ortega: Why?
Mickey: You love her, don't you?
Ortega: Not really. Quite frankly, I find her really annoying.
Mickey: Oh, you're just getting cold feet about the wedding.
Ortega: What wedding?
Mickey: Bye, Ortega. (Ortega begrudgingly walks off, and Tricky Mickey takes off)
Ortega: Hey wait!!! Oh, you bastard!!!
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS: Oh watch your mouth. Oooooh, come here doggy...come here, that's it. I...uh-oh....
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Big bastard
PS-I said tee-hee. Oh don't worry, they didn't die, but PM roughed them up a bit.
#1239
That Sunday Bitch STRIKES AGAIN!!!
Date: 12/10/2001
From: Sunday12
<puts itching powder down Tork's costume for no good reason then runs away!>
TSB!
That Sunday Bitch!
#1240
Lita: Jus look at 'im go!
Date: 12/11/2001
From: Lita_the_Surly_Elf
.........................................................
<Lita and Rimmer are watching Spidey spin a web way up at the top of the cave. Lita, who's apparently been digging into the booze supply, is obviously really proud of her pet. Rimmer is obviously not quite so thrilled.>
Lita: Issn't he cute?
Rimmer: Cute? I can just see it now. I'll be walking around here in the dark in the middle of the night, and Spidey's just going to drop down on top of me and suck my brain out through the back of my skull.
Lita: <Takes a big drink from her bottle.> Eh, that's jus how he sshows he likes you. *pause* 'sept for the brain ssucking part. Tha' would jus be if you p-pissed him off.
Rimmer: Oh. I'm going to run and hide under some furniture now. See you later, you big lush. <Rimmer scurries away.>
Lita: Yeah. *hic* Hey, how you doin, Evil Mike?
EM: MMMMPH!
<Evil Mike is completely wrapped up in spider silk, and is stuck to the wall. He's been there for a while.>
Lita: Ssserves you right. You slut.
Buffalo: Hey, Cupcake II!
Lita: Y-- *hic* yeah?
Buffalo: Since its lookin' lahke you an that other guy's relashinship is all warshed up, what do yeh say yeh give ol' Buffalo another chance?
<Lita looks hard at Buffalo. She takes a big drink. She looks at Buffalo again.>
Lita: Nnnope. Yer not gettin' inny p-prettier.
Buffalo: Looks ain't everthing!
Lita: Oh… you don wannme goin on yer perssossonalany. Hhheeyyy… T-tork… whatcha dancin for? I don hear no musssic.
Tork: Grr! It itches!! Ack! Can't reach! Growl!!! That Sunday Bitch! So annoying!! Roar!!
Lita: Ya shouldn dance without mmmusic.
<Lita digs around until she finds one of her U2 CDs (Zooropa, if you must know) and puts it on the stereo. Turns out Diabolik had a great sound system, back in the day. (No, I don't know why a great 60's sound system would include a CD player. Just shut up, ok? Go nit-pick somebody else's incoherent post.) The music fills the lair, and Lita starts dancing.>
gramps: Oh, yeah! Time fer a good ol' fashioned hoot-nanny!
<He heads over to the dance floor, and proceeds to get down and funky.>
gramps: Hey, this here dance party was a good idea, Tork!
Tork: AAAGH!! You people!!! No help at all!!!! Ahh, it itches!!!! GRRRR!!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
knows this reply didn't advance the story very much at all,
but she hasn't been good and drunk for a while.
She felt it was time.
#1241
Mickey: Little help, please?
Date: 12/11/2001
From: MickeysXmasCarol
help help help help help help
42: What is it now?
Mickey: I can't read Lita's handwriting.
42: Let me see that. (grabs the paper). Well, here's why you idiot, it's a drawing of her poining that way (42 poins that way).
Mickey: Oh.
42: Hey, that doggie's chasing us.
Mickey: Hey look at that...he's wearing PM's hat.
42: You don't think it ate PM?
Mickey: That thing? No, it's cute. (PM catches up with them) Aww...It wants a race (Mickey starts going really fast)
42: Mickey! You're 50 miles over the (sirens start coming from behind them...boy Mickey and the law, huh?) speed limit.
Sheriff Hale: Pull over.
Mickey: Him again? Aren't there any other cops from MST3K?
(Mickey pulls over...right onto PM's tail)
PM: Arroooooooooooooooooooooo!!! (Hey, I can't think of any werewolf in pain sound effects)
Sheriff Hale: Alright, what do we got here...you again. Yeah, I remember you. The nutcase putting that girl's picture on all the flowers.
42: Don't forget the incident with the statue.
Sheriff Hale: No...that was some bald Egyptian guy. Wait a minute, what're you doing with this sicko?
42: Um...uh...
Mickey: She's kidnapped me! And she's making me take her to a U2 concert. Help me!
(42 reaches over and rolls up Mickey's window. They leave, once again reaching incredible speeds)
Sheriff Hale: Aw shoot! Hey, a hurt doggie! And he's wearing a cute funny hat! Uh-oh, looks like the little guy's owners forgot the leash law! (Slaps handcuffs on PM) I'm taking you in for questioning, yes I am, yes I am!
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
There's probably a pooper-scooper law too, but let's not get into that.
#1242
[PM] Growl!!! Snarl!!!
Date: 12/11/2001
From: PharaohMonstrous
<<< Awooooo! Mode>>>
[Sheriff Hale is trying to question PM back at the station house. We join the interrogation session, now in progress.]
[Sheriff Hale] All right now, enough of your nonsense. What is your name?
[PM snarls and kind of barks at him.]
[Sheriff Hale] Ooookay. And where is your owner, doggie?
[PM growls and barks furiously at him.]
[Sheriff Hale] All righty then. What is it that brings you to our sleepy little town?
[PM] Well actually, I was planning on renting a small apartment in the downtown area, and using it as a base of operations for the criminal network I had planned to establish here. I would initially finance the operation by performing odd jobs locally under the assumed name of Mister Pilkington... but perhaps I've said too much.
[Sheriff Hale boggles at PM] Du-HUNH?!?!?!?
[PM chuckles a low, throaty wolf-laugh.] PSYCH! [He stands up and snaps the handcuffs off of his wrists as if they were tin foil. Sheriff Hale screams, and PM picks him up by the scruff of the neck and locks Hale in one of his own holding cells. By the time Hale's lone deputy manages to get his only bullet into his revolver, PM has already run out of town.]
The were Pharaoh Mobius
Hey! My Hallowe'en handle came in handy!
Sarcophagus!
#1243
*snick* Ya know what????
Date: 12/11/2001
From: Ghost_of_Rimmer_Past
<<<<Silly Mode>>>>>>
Now that PM is a werepharaoh he has 6 BIG GIANT SAGGY MAN BOOBS!!!!!!
#1244
*snort* Ya know what else????
Date: 12/11/2001
From: Ghost_of_Rimmer_Past
<<<<Sillier Mode>>>>>>
His 6 GIANT SAGGY BOOBS *!jiggle!* when he howls!!!
#1245
*SNORT!* <can't talk... laughing hard!>
Date: 12/11/2001
From: Ghost_of_Rimmer_Past
<<<<<Silliest Mode>>>>>>
The bone-eater is still after PM. Run, PuppyMobius, Run!!!!
LOL!!!
#1246
Lita 42: Mickey...
Date: 12/11/2001
From: Lita_the_Surly_Elf
.........................................................
Mickey: Yes?
Lita 42: I can't... believe... you just... TRIED... TO GET ME ARRESTED... *AGAIN*!!!!
<42 looks mad. She's just seething. Mickey's lucky that she's not holding any sharp objects.>
Mickey: Oh, so you're pissed off about me telling Sheriff Hale you kidnapped me, eh?
Lita 42: You know what, Mickey? I just have one thing to say to you!
Mickey: What's that?
Lita 42: Pleh!!!
Mickey: WHAT??? How could you say--
*Ka-Thunk!* *Thunk!*
<Mickey was so upset by 42's harsh word, he ran over something!>
Lita 42: Oh no! You just killed some poor little animal!
<Mickey pulls over>
Mickey: You wait here. I'm going to check and see what that was.
<Mickey gets out of the Big Misunderstood Sex Machine, and walks out behind it. He looks to see what he hit.>
Mickey: Oh... no... Please, no... By everything that is Good and Beautiful--
Lita 42: <sticking her head out the window> What is it? What did you run over?
Mickey: Stay in the car! I don't want you to see this!
cow: Where did you learn to drive, you stupid moooron? You damoon near killed mooe!
<Yep. Mickey hit Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow. It's amazing how well a tiny ceramic cow can stand up to being run over by a truck. He's fine.>
Mickey: Of all the creatures I could have run over, it just had to be you, didn't it? I guess this means you'll want to be back in the RP again, huh?
cow: No chance of that Mooister! I want mooy freedomoo! No mooore wacky adventures for mooe, no sir! And if I have to see any of those stupid Litas again, I'moo going to vomooit!
Mickey: All right. Good. Then I'll just tell the Lita clone in the van that I just killed a puppy or something, and you can get on your way to a new life. No harm done.
cow: Sounds good to mooe.
Mickey: Great. It's settled then. We're all clear, just as long as Lita 42 doesn't see you--
Lita 42: Hey! It's Duke Figgypudding or whatever! Good to see you! How have you been?
Mickey & cow: Oh, crap!
Mickey: Carmelita42, I thought I told you to stay in the truck--
Lita 42: It is soooo boring in there all by myself! Hey, Sir Fingledopple! Just wait until 9000 sees you! She'll be so happy!
cow: Why does God hate mooe…
<42 picks up Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow and carries him back to the Big Misunderstood Sex Machine. Mickey sighs and gets heads back too. And they're back on their way.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
remembered to teach her clones
that a "pleh" is waaay worse than a "blah."
Ok, everybody quit groaning! I really like the cow, ok?!
#1247
So, is this what happens...
Date: 12/12/2001
From: Lita_the_Surly_Elf
...........................................................
...when *everybody* has writers block? I'll see what I can do to move the story along, but I'm not making any promises.
<In Diabolik's old lair, Lita and gramps are dancing with Tork. Tork isn't dancing, he's itching, but Lita and gramps don't really seem to care. The music is up *really* loud. Rimmer climbs down out of the great big diamond looking thing that Diabolik has for some reason set up at one end of the room. She walks over to the sound system, and turns off the music.>
Lita and gramps: Heeeeyyy…
Lita: That was Lemon! You don't turn off Lemon! <Oops. I forgot to drunkify that. Oh well, it's too late to fix it now. I'll get the next one.>
Rimmer: You guys have been playing that album over and over and over for the last 12 hours. There's only so much I can take! Tork, quit shuffling around over there. It bothers me.
Tork: Can't help it! Grrr! Itches!!! Rarr!!!
Rimmer: Anyway, I want to check on how Phloofy Marshmallus is doing.
<Rimmer heads over to Diabolik's viewscreen, hits a few buttons, and turns a few knobs. A picture of Pharaoh Mobius comes up. He's still lycanthroping away, and he's running down a street.>
Rimmer: <To Diabolik, who is standing nearby, all encased in gold.> Hey, going through all the trouble of setting up that hidden camera to watch that perfectly ordinary street all those years finally payed off, eh?
Diabolik: Mmmph!
Lita: Whadidee sssay?
gramps: You don't want to know. It was the kind of thing that shouldn't be said around impressionable younguns like yerself. That whippersnapper sure has a mouth on him.
Lita: Oh. Hey, whysss Ffafaffafafhmnmn still a warrwilff?
Rimmer: Lita, you ask the dumbest questions when you're drunk. Of course it's because he… hey… You have a poin.
Lita: I do?
Rimmer: Yes. PM should be human right now. It's the middle of the day. There's no moon out to cause--
Lita: <Paying no attention> Eeeewww, Buffaflo! Thass disshgusting! Pull up yer pants!!!
Buffalo: Ah caint, Cupcake II! Ahm tied tah this hyere chair!
Lita: Oh.. thass right. Well I'll jussuntie you… an then--
Rimmer: Lita! No! Wait! You can't untie him! For one thing he's our hostage--
Lita: Oh yeah…
Rimmer: Besides, we want to keep Rin-Tin-Tinnius wolfy. He's the enemy, remember? If Buffalo pulls up his pants, it'll ruin everything!
Lita: <Suddenly belligerent for no good reason. She poins her finger at Rimmer, and jabs her in the shoulder a couple of times.> Now look hyerre, Buddy! I'm DRUNK! Yyyou got that?
Rimmer: Ooookay. <Rimmer heads over to where Evil Mike is still stuck to the wall and cuts him down. He falls to the floor and she cuts all the spider silk away from him. He glares up at her. Rimmer pouts fetchingly at Evil Mike.> Mikey Wikey, I know you're mad because we left you up there for so long, but could you do me a big favor? Pweeease?
EM: Unless it involves taking your pants off, I'm not interested, Ass.
Rimmer: I just want you to keep Lita out of my hair until she sobers up a bit.
EM: <thinks it over> Fine. I guess I can do that. If there's anything I'm good at, it's distracting Lita.
Rimmer: Good! Now back to my diabolical scheming!
Diabolik: Mmmmph mmph!!
Rimmer: Oh, that does not infringe on your copyright! And don't call me that filthy name again!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
Wow, Buffalo can moon a guy from miles away! That's either really impressive, or really disgusting.
#1248
Oranges are pretty!! n/t
Date: 12/12/2001
From: Lita_the_Surly_Elf
WASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
just wasted a reply
>:op
#1249
Lita: Try alt + 0222
Date: 12/12/2001
From: Let_It_Schmoe
>:oÞ
Much better than using a lowercase p for your emoticon.
>:oÞ
Tada!! I know, I rule. No need to remind me.
fw!!
no socks
#1250
Alt + 0222, huh?
Date: 12/13/2001
From: Lita_the_Surly_Elf
..........................................................
I'll give it a shot:
>:oÞ
Oooooooh!
>:oÞ
Hey, neat!
>:oÞ
>:op
But I don't know. That lowercase "p" still has that certain… special… something…
<Music swells>
o/` Oh emoticons are so speeeciaalll...o/`
o/` You have to look at them sidewaaays... o/`
<Lita sings a beautiful heartfelt ballad about her favorite emoticons and their construction. But I'm going to fast-forward through that so that you don't have to read it and I don't have to write it. You're welcome. 15 minutes later...>
o/` And I'll never have that recipe again... o/`
o/` Oh noooooooooo!!! o/`
And I guess that sums it up.
Thanks for the tip, Schmoe!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice prez of the I hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
>:oÞ
>:op
>:oÞ
>:op
#1251
Heh, heh, heh...
Date: 12/13/2001
From: IamWritersBlock
I am writer's block!!!
That's right, Lita. I've claimed all your friends. And you're next, my pretty.
#1252
[PM] Rhat's rhis?
Date: 12/13/2001
From: PharaohMonstrous
<<<Lycanthropy Mode>>>
[PM has been running around town, wolfing around and generally being quite naughty. Suddenly, he comes to a stop in front of a giant ceramic block with the words "Writer's Block" painted on it. He cocks his head and looks at it for a moment. It does nothing the entire time he watches it. He shrugs, then smashes it to bits and goes on his way.]
[?????] Stop right there!
[PM] RHUNH?!?
#1253
[PM] Ruh roh!
Date: 12/13/2001
From: PharaohMonstrous
<<<Stupid Post Reply Button! Mode>>>
[?????] Don't even think about moving, you evil wolfman!
[PM turns around to see a young woman, about 5'10" with long, blond hair (pulled up into a pony tail), wearing a cute little outfit offset by a black leather trenchcoat.]
[PM] Rho are *rou*?
[?????] Who am I? I'm your worst nightmare! I am-- [She does a double backflip, lands in an "American" splits, pulls out a BIG silver knife, and tumbles forward, ending up on her feet and in Cool Action Pose # 39 (with lens flare off of the knife and lens-flare sound effect)]
--Wurwolf Hunter B!
[PM] Rou rook rinda ramiliar...
[WHB] No I don't!!! I mean... I'm pretty famous, you know. You've probably seen my picture before on t-shirts, coffee mugs, and posters, which were produced in response to my oh-so-popular series on the WBUPN.
[PM] I've rot it! Rou rook rike Ruffy!
[WHB] DON'T SAY THAT NAME!
[PM] Rhat rame? Ruffy?
[WHB] STOP IT!!!
[PM] Ruffy, Ruffy, RUFFY!!!
[WHB] NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! [She bursts into tears.]
[PM, nonplussed.] Rhere, rhere. Ron't rry. It's rot *rhat* rad, Ru-- I rean, Rurwolf Runter Ree.
[WHB, wiping her eyes.] Well, you figured out what the "B" in my name stands for. It's only a matter of time before Wheedon's lawyers catch up to me, now. No more wacky-spooky adventures with Gilks, Flander, Birch, and my little sister Donna. [She blows her nose.] And I guess now I'll *never* be reunited with my first and truest love, Cherub! He's a wurwolf too, you know. [She starts to cry again.]
[PM] Easy, row. Rhat rould rou ray if I raid rhat I rould relp rou?
[WHB] Why would *you* want to help *me*?
[PM] Recause as a Raster Rriminal, I ran appreciate a rood ropyright infringement. Rhat, and I rigure rhat if I relp rou, rou ron't rill re rhere I rtand!
[WHB and PM share a laugh.]
[WHB] Okay, it's a deal. You get the copyright lawyers off of my case, and I won't kill you. Oh, and I'll give you some free advice, to boot: just because someone's bare buttocks are called a "moon", they shouldn't cause you to transform into wolf form.
[PM] Rhey rouldn't? Really?!?
[WHB] Nope.
[PM instantly transforms back.]
[PM] Oops! Talk about embarassing...
[WHB] Don't feel bad. Cherub had to learn that one the hard way, too...
The mad Pharaoh Mobius
I'm not sure why I could talk normally in wurwolf form in one reply,
while in the next I talk in a Scooby Doo speech impediment.
Oh well, best not to question these things too much.
Sarcophagus!
#1254
Mickey: Wow! What a long drive!
Date: 12/13/2001
From: MickeysXmasCarol
Where the hell is this place? Europe?
42: More like eur-ass, as in up yours.
Mickey: Yikes! Where'd that come from?
42: We're not even going to Diabolik's place. You're just driving around in circles!
Cow: Like Mooickey is that dumoob to willingly spend moore timooe with you than he has to.
Mickey: Wow. Thanks, cow.
Cow: Bite mooe.
Mickey: Alright, calm down kids or I'll turn this rp around and they'll be no comic for anybody. Diabolik's hideout is right up ahead.
(The armored car drives right up to the secret entrance.)
Rimmer (on an intercom): Password?
Mickey: Don't you mean "ass" word?
Rimmer: Oh...just for that, I'm not letting you in.
Mickey: Fine.
Cow: Moo.
(Lita gets away from Evil Mike so she can have some lines in this part of the rp)
Lita: Hey, ish my clone out there? Rimmer, letemin.
Rimmer: No. They didn't give me the password.
Lita: Oh, shhhut upp, we don't even have a passhword.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
hehrhrgvlshglhviufzzzzhiuaflhfuhgvihgiuddfuhjkvnkjvldhfiuhfh
#1255
Writers block?
Date: 12/13/2001
From: Tork_110
1:30 - 6:00p
Try two finals in one day! And another tomorrow.
<Tork sneaks up behind Lita, yells in her ear "PLEH", and RRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!>
#1256
Writer's block! It can't be!
Date: 12/13/2001
From: Lita_the_Surly_Elf
...........................................................
What have you done to my friends, you... evil... uh... evil... evil thing...
Well... uh... (Oh! I know what to say!) You're not gonna get away with this! You may have gotten the others, but you won't get me! Your powers are useless against me! I'm an English major! I know how to write! So… uh… So there! Uhmm… Yeah! Take that you… <Lita notices something from Writers Block's reply> hey, do you really think I'm pretty? *smile*
<There is a long pause. Lita is clearly having trouble thinking.>
So. Umm. *sigh* I have no idea where to go from here…
<Just then, Tork sneaks up behind Lita, yells "PLEH" in her ear and RUNS!!!>
Wha? Tork? <Lita's voice starts to break> How could you "pleh" me?! *sniff* I thought we were friends! <Lita starts to cry> What did I do to you??? FRIENDS DON'T SAY "PLEH" TO EACH OTHER!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
<Oh that's great, Tork. You made Lita cry! Do you feel like a big man now?>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
is probably still drunk,
but she didn't want to take the time to make
the entire reply unintelligible.
Today was my last day of regular classes for this semester. I have finals next week, and I'm so glad. This semester totally kicked my ass.
#1257
Lita: Come 'ern in! *hic*
Date: 12/13/2001
From: AnOldRedneckReindeer
Lita: Let'sssssh jussssht ignore Rimmi! Sssshe'ssh an Asssh!
Mickey: Why hey there Lita! Seems like old habits die hard, huh? Oh, and look who I brought for you! Ta-dah!
Cow: Oh, whoooooo. It's yoooooooou. Moooooo.
Lita: It'ssssh my scheramicky moo moo cow! How'sssh yous been doing? *hic*
Lita42: <thinking> Maybe she's too drunk, and she won't notice me! Yeah, that's right! Stupid Mickey, first making me steal 9000's identity, then putting me in Mall Jail...
gramps: *hic* Hay, 42! Liter's been waitur' to talkssssh to yousssssh aboutsssssh that thar identity sssshtealing you're worryin' 'bout! Ssssheems like you'd be better offssssh in Mall *hic* Prism! <Yeah, I read clones' minds too> Then again, sssheems to me that that thar ssssshtealern's fun! Lookie here...
Next up: A new foe - writer's block!
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